#12: Positivity offers Perspective
This has been an ongoing concept that I’ve been thinking about for a long time.
To be as accurate and upfront as possible about my mindset: By no means was I a negative person - in fact, as long as I can remember I’ve always tried to find the ‘silver lining’ in an attempt to add meaning to my personal struggles.
However, while I wasn’t ‘negative’ about things, my anxiety rarely focused on the positive possible outcomes; my worries for what could go wrong often left me crippled with fear and uncertainty, so positivity was the mindset that I relied on to say, “But what if there could be a good outcome?”
Only recently have I started to become aware of the overall impact of positivity for improving overall wellbeing, as well as my connections with people.
Some of the noticeable impacts that I've picked out include - but is not limited to:
Infectious → People tend to love kindness, generosity, and other kinds of helpful feats; when someone gives us positivity, we tend to pass on the Goodwill more often than we might imagine - we all love a good rush of dopamine and serotonin, and as social creatures that can experience empathy, doing good can genuinely make us feel good.
Negativity is also infectious, so doing things to hurt people can genuinely make us feel bad.
So I ask myself often, do I want to spread positivity or negativity?
As I’ve healed, I’ve truly understood that pain will never go away with more pain.
Brighter Perspective of the World → By shifting the angle we view the world, we can see the good in people and experiences, rather than judging things based on assumptions, expectations, biases and pre-existing beliefs of what we think something ‘should’ be like.
There are countless awe-inspiring and beautiful experiences to be had in this world, but we have to look for them - which is something we sometimes need to learn or remind ourselves of when we are surrounded by so much negativity.
Finding the Beauty in ‘Darkness’ → There's a lot of ugly things in this world, but there's also a lot of beauty to it; the question I always had was whether I wanted to look for the beauty or look for the ugly. As I've gotten older, I also realized that sometimes there's a lot of beauty to be found even in ugly scenarios, so long as we’re willing to work at improving them.
More Attractive (and not in a romantic sense!) → We tend to attract people to us when we display more positivity and it's likely due to the simple fact that it makes us more uplifting to be around
“Growing up, I was always a polite people-pleaser rather than a ‘mean girl’ or ‘girly-girl’, but perhaps it's because I wasn't having any part of that Dynamic and drama, no matter what age I was.”
~Journal Entry, Circa 2021Perhaps it was because I found kindness and positivity to be an immensely attractive trait in people; it takes courage, empathy and consideration to be positive, and I wanted to surround myself with the type of people I wanted to be.
Feeling Happier → As an empath, I find that I internalize how other people feel; if someone feels bad, I feel bad, but if someone feels good, I feel good. I find joy in other peoples’ joy, and why wouldn’t I want to experience joy?
When we’re constantly surrounded by things that bring us down, we need to find a way to lift up our spirits again.
I embraced positivity long ago to try a different viewpoint when my anxiety came up. Positivity has helped me to see life from a new, often brighter, perspective; it has provided a pathway that has helped me along with my healing.
I have experienced my own joys in life, but I’ve also experienced by own forms of suffering; my suffering passes, and if I can help people find joy rather than make them suffer in return, it means the world is just that much brighter.
Titled “Hizashi ("Ray of Sunshine" in Ryoanji Hojo Teien)” (2023).